I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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