i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
