i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize