So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
