please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
