i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
