Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
