she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
