So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
