dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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