he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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