I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
