Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
