I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just google imaged poop.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
