Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
