Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize