First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Randomize
