this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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