We're facebook friends in real life
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
