literally had 100 drinks last night.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
