Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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