People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize