I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
