one two three fourrrrnication!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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