we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
