I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
