I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I cut my penus on the lid.
my being single is dangerous.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
