Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He kissed a someone with a penis
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
