there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
