Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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