I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I understand Curling. That high.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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