Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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