i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
