Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
