i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
