he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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