my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
