how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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