I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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