Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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