you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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