Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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