We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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