and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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