Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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