just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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