I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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