So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
