I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
