How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
