No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize