That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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