I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
