shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
