The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize