FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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