That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
operation harelip BJ is a go
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
