im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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