just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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