What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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