Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
